December 2009
uglyanthony:
Is it required to kiss someone at midnight? I’d like to participate.
STEPH
IF YOU DON’T CALL ME BACK I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.
what to do what to do
options: a. go to taylors party with the chance of being miserable with no way home. b. stay home and be miserable c. go to my dads/go out with my dad d. go to stan’s with steph? LOL
i just really don’t know.
i have never in my life
felt so pathetic, or needed a cigarette so badly.
Stop.
douglasprophetic:
I don’t remember promising, and I don’t want to go where you’re going.
So what’d be unfair is fucking forcing me to come with you.
SO STOP.
i’m not forcing you, i’m probably not even going because all the people i want to spend new years with are in tons of different places. it’s just the way you go about things that bothers me. i do not want to fight with...
1 tag
it's not like you fucking promised or anything
good joke
nostalgia attack. i hate the feeling of the year ending, i really really hate it, and it takes me a few months to forget how much i hate it so it always bites me in the ass and is like oh THIS feeling? i hate this? oh yeah, i really do. for the new year i just want to be okay with being me, i want to stop apologizing for that, and stop feeling bad about myself all the time. maybe if the people...
i have to get offline
because tumblr is making me feel waayyy nostalgic.
NEENER
i think i’m going back to sleep so waiting around all day won’t suck.
too late
to go through all my tumbls. i hate headaches and the cold, i just hope tomorrow night is good. i miss amb and halie, and i’ll be so happy when they come home. mmm though my warm bed is gonna be so nice. going to burn some incense, cuddle in my bed, read, and sleep.
seriously tho
no one takes me seriously.
& i know a lot of you want to be all well how could we with a voice like that?
i would like to thank
apains:
clarebabs:
doug (and ferm although he won’t read this) for keeping me sane last night and dealing with the cops so well. because i was shitting bricks. you do not even know. thank you for not making us stay in the graveyard for too too long, and for trying to make feel a little bit better even though you intentionally creeped me out to the point where i had chills. :p <3
OMG. what...
i would like to thank
doug (and ferm although he won’t read this) for keeping me sane last night and dealing with the cops so well. because i was shitting bricks. you do not even know. thank you for not making us stay in the graveyard for too too long, and for trying to make feel a little bit better even though you intentionally creeped me out to the point where i had chills. :p <3
"you better not tell anyone"
stevi3g:
then your initial reaction is you won’t/they won’t.
but then you damn well know everyone has that one best friend that you tell. and that one has a best friend that they tell and so on and so on. so secrets? right lol.
i think you’re definitely right on some levels, i mean i know i have a big fucking mouth and i make sure that people know that before they tell anything. i...
going on an adventure for forgiveness. be back at an ungodly hour. fuck this is gonna be one COLD COLD adventure.
1 tag
i wonder about you from time to time
and it’s just so weird, so different, such a change from when you never left my mind.
mmmm
cold water and baby aspirin for desert~
frostbiiite.
[21:57] fermey: arent you wearing clothes [21:57] arranged apathy: leggings [21:57] arranged apathy: sweater [21:57] arranged apathy: belt [21:57] fermey: no [21:57] arranged apathy: boots [21:57] fermey: STOP [21:57] fermey: YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE [21:57] fermey: FIX IT [21:57] arranged apathy: lol whut? [21:58] fermey: you need REAL PANTS [21:58] fermey: REALL SWEAT PANTS [21:58] arranged...
frostbiiite.
[21:57] fermey: arent you wearing clothes [21:57] arranged apathy: leggings [21:57] arranged apathy: sweater [21:57] arranged apathy: belt [21:57] fermey: no [21:57] arranged apathy: boots [21:57] fermey: STOP [21:57] fermey: YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE [21:57] fermey: FIX IT [21:57] arranged apathy: lol whut? [21:58] fermey: you need REAL PANTS [21:58] fermey: REALL SWEAT PANTS [21:58] arranged...
so i finally caved
and got a fucking facebook. i have betrayed myself. apparently i already had one lol, so that’s the one i’m using, i must have made it like two years ago. :s
oh and
i hate regular aim and meebo keeps failing at life so to the people i was talking to- ferm: i don’t know, we have no friends. meeech: yes tomorrow you me steph sounds good nat: i am leaving in like five minutes to come see you<3
i want to have somewhere to go
where i can wear kitten heels and drink and dance all night and be sloppy but have everyone love me anyways. sneak away for kisses in dark congested hallways and then continue to dance until morning. sleep until 12, get up and be productive. create things, see things i have never seen before. mmm.
aww
even my sister ditches me :) cuuuute.
going to
the gym with becky, getting on a diet, cleaning my house/car today. being productive, but i need to go out later so text/call with plans. i will be in and out.
i wish i could just
throw a fit and get things my way more often. legit though! haha. i’m considering dropping out, getting my ged and following becky wherever she goes to get my gen creds like she wants me too. it would be a little scary but i need the fuck out of this town. my mom is freaking out about it but i usually get my way. this is the place people go when their hearts die and i can’t, i...
i dislike when
you have good realistic dreams, and remember them a while after you’ve woken up only to be fooled for ten minutes or more that they were real and then be sorely disappointed when you remember that obviously good things like that would only happen in your sleep.
this house is
so depressing. i feel like my mom is going crazy, she’s being really insane. worse than i have ever seen her and it’s kind of scaring me.
i'm going to stop posting
so many sketchy/vague things that could be directed at a number of people. yes, they sound prettier but it drives me wild when other people do that because, me being me, has to know everything and i’m just like OMG WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OMG PLEASE TELL ME OMG.
but really
i feel really worthless right now. i just ugh, some of the little things you say really get to me and actually make me feel terrible about myself and you don’t realize it. you joke and i joke back but it gets to a point where i actually start thinking about it and it’s really upsetting. then on top of that chris ditching me and coming home to my mom freaking out do not add up to a nice...
i want to document so
-party at conners, wtf. -really drunk matt burns -ryan burns’ hot girlfriend omg so finee. haha -getting super drunk and having heart to hearts with: kt, cp, dean, jack shock and i think joey counts for a little? -crying on the bathroom floor and being like EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY IF AMB WERE HERE. -driving home on marcio/matt&dougs laps and telling marcio how and why i think he’s...
bad moods are so contagious
i’m kind of dealing with something a little heavy myself so if i could have like an hour. not trying to be mean. i’m thinking about it and i love you and i do want to so you’ll be happy but my head is just kind of everywhere.
i feel the need to go, all the time
but i can’t go alone, and i don’t know where i’m headed.
i feel like i am touching hands with strangers
that all this is so fleeting; my whole life someones dream and they could wake up at any minute and everyting would end. maybe we are all just figments of someones intricate imagination. i do not know.
i feel really out of touch
i feel like the only person i’ve talked to like really talked to is becky and she’s not really one to talk back and i can’t tell her everything that’s on my mind because we are just so not on the same level. completely not trying to say that i don’t have fun with her because i absolutely do and i love that we’ve been getting along so well, i just don’t...
want cuddles~
i hate how tense it is between us. i love you and i fucking miss you. gah. :/ i hate how there are big topics in our life that we have to avoid to avoid bickering. why are we both so fucking stubborn? :(
my christmas was nice
i got lots of clothes, and that’s basically it. new boots, mmm, money, giftcards. yes. my grandma was fucking tanked at christmas, she is a really cute drunk. she was talking about how she loves being drunk and that one time when she was really drunk she put rubber boots on her hands and walked around on all fours. she got my uncle a bottle of whiskey and she’s just like “maybe...
PAUL
apains:
WHO IS PAUL
one of johnnys creepy friends who we see every so often looking super creepy’s name is paul.
becky, will, my mom and i are on the way to the city, will is driving, beckys sitting shotgun and my mom and i are in the back. i have a really ominous for some reason, and i’d really love if it would go away, please please please. it still doesnt feel like christmas one little bit. i want to party. i want to drink and dance and be merrry. babbies text me please. so bored.
my dad is so cute with alanna
and it makes me thing that maybe he’s not as bad of a person as he seems to be.
amb
apains:
clarebabs:
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TOMORROW. YOU HAVE TO COME SEE ME AT SOME POINT. WE HAVE TO HAVE AN EPIC PARTING</3
IKNOW.
i’m coming home sometime before two, whenever my dad decides to wake up.
what time are you leaving? and yes an epic cryingg parting movie scene like shit is MUCH needed.
we’re leaving at like oneish. i could get you from your dads in the morning?...
amb
WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR TOMORROW. YOU HAVE TO COME SEE ME AT SOME POINT. WE HAVE TO HAVE AN EPIC PARTING</3