May 2009
i hate being depressed
i’m not even excited for my birthdayy. it’s just like, what’s the pointt? gahh, i guess i’ll take my permit test tomorrow during skilllls, i don’t need to study righttt?
April 2009
KATI
can i stay at your house instead of you staying here tonight? i can’t be around my mom, and i just don’t want to be home.
HALIEEE
halieann:
clarebabs:
what is number 3 on that paper for english?! cause i kind of have to do that essay but like FOR REALLLL. FUUUUCK
its like, research richmond virginia and write a story about august’s life with lily’s mom. 2-4 pages SUCK MY DICK MCDICKA. but yeah. =]
i lahhhhve you<3 & i did all the actual questions in packet 22 or whatever for bio but i didn’t do the multiple...
i love howw
no one will ever say shit to my face, it’s cute.
& i honestly think there’s something wrong with me, normal people are not like this.
& kevin i wish i could make you not so miserable because you sounded so fucking sad before and it was horrible :( love you
HALIEEE
what is number 3 on that paper for english?! cause i kind of have to do that essay but like FOR REALLLL. FUUUUCK
i need to
do bio work eng essay math film? loll pastel polos and black capris a little bit of me hates a little bit of you a little bit, but mostly i just resent you and i miss how things used to be
i feel like
my fucking head is gonna explode cause this headache is so horrible and i don’t have any kind of medicine that will help in the house,
but my dad just called me and said he found this weird car and blah blah blah, it’s like a van but not and it’s just like the weirdest thing ever but it’s a car and i have a feeling he’s gonna get it for me cause he’s like...
so todayy
was incredibly random, i’ll just list.
-kati and i left after fifth period cause school was just not an option today. -we got domi -went and drove around shohola -went to marneys (jasons) -domi caught their chicken that got out and took pictures with it -we sat on the porch and got eaten alive while kati and marney smoked -we went inside and kati was incredibly baked and we had a good time...
I HATE MEGAVIDEO
i am going to fucking flip the FUCK OUT.
like really? really?
ALL I WANT TO DO IS WATCH THE LAST FUCKING TEN MINUTES OF MY SHOW.
DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO FUCKING STOP AT THAT CLIMACTIC OF A POINT?
FUCKING REALLY?
THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT.
OH I AM FUCKING PISSSED.
O look.
domii:
You did it again …. its sad I almost expected you to.
domm, i don’t know why you’re sad, but i wish you weren’t and i love you and i hope you get better and i’m here if you need to talk. & i hope kevin helped cause he was talking to you when i calllled<3
my dad has made me
almost cry like six times today, and now he finally succeededd.
greeeeat.
birthday wishlisttt.
-CARRR<3 -makeup (coastal scents eyeshadow!) -clothes -new purse -sandals -cute necklaces and stufff -new phone charger -hennna kit! -nail polish (roygbiv) -perfumme
i think that’s about ittt :)
exactly a week until i’m sixteen, and becky turns eighteen tomorrow (which scares me) and it’s just so weird.
like ahhhhh i hate how fast time goes :(
work
kind of sucked. i got there and sue was like “you look terrible, you’re all disheveled and you look so ugly, go in the bathroom and fix yourself RIGHT NOW!” so i’m just like oh okay, i didn’t know i was such a fucking creature?
and it’s becky’s fault because she took my shirt and shoes yesterday and made me wear her dirty shirt and shoess. plus i dropped...
Watchvintage baked clamber.
i do not understand how people you love can become people you genuinely hate, and how people you once knew better than you knew yourself can become strangers.
how you can forget the people who once meant so much to you, and why sometimes i feel like none of it matters because we all die and decay.
my mind is going places i don’t want it to, and when i think about dying i cannot breathe.
in 2 weeks.
danarussell:
i am getting a tattoo. thankyou kristen (:
what are you getting?
random
i talk too much and i realized that i really need to stop, like wow i talk SOOOOOO much it must be really fucking annoying :(
it probably really sucks for olympic competitors if they get their period, like yeah, i know it sucks to get your period for prom or your weding or whatever, BUT DOOOD, like, AT THE OLYMPICS?! da hell.
i might not go to school tomorrow. i really don’t want to and i...
dear mcdonalds worker,
becky and i definitely asked for decaf, it would have been nice if you gave us that because now i can’t sleep and i really need to.
dear dress,
i want you so much. i will buy you eventually, i will i will i will.
I miss you clare...
domii:
Title says it all.
i miss you too :( i’m pretty sure i’m going to the gym today, but tomorrow we should do something if you’re busyy<3
i feel gross
i just ate some pasta and salad and my stomach hurts because for the last two weeks it’s hurt whenever i eat, regardless of what it is or the portion size. so now i’m going to take a quick 15 minute nap and get ready to go the gym and MAYYYYBE go tanning.
clamber.
katipaterson:
sorry i left last night. i just wanted my bed so badly for some reason.
clare good luck with work today <3
lol it’s okayy, i was just like half asleep and i was like what? bye? what time is it? and then amb and i went to bed & i got woken up by a call from work at 8:30 D:
meeeech
i didn’t read your im until this morning, does that mean you and kati both won’t be around for my birthday? =[
i. am. really. annoyed.
katiii
since i know ferm won’t tell you, when you wake up get in touch with me about plans today?! :) <3
i had two dreams. one where we were older and kati was a lesbian and she married soyou’re going to hell >.<. then another where it was my birthday and no one said happy birthday to me, and then i woke up thinking it was my birthday! :[ but i still have 14 days to goo.
i just watched fight club
and i think it’s one of the first movies that i can honestly say lived up to the book. it was sooo good, but i’m really glad i read it first.
halieann:
people that enjoy keystone are freaks of nature.
AGREEED. johnny wouldn’t even drink that shit.
i think i have pmdd.
ohit'sfine!
it’s not like i didn’t make any plans for tonight because you said we were going out. but ohhh nooo we’re not even though it’s been a set plan all week so i’m just not doing fucking anything. today has sucked so fucking badly. i hate the adminstration and i fucking hate my family.
i hate my stomach >:[
i really wanted to hang out with kati & whoever today cause i haven’t hung out with her in aaaages, but my stomach still feels ick after two hours of sleeep and i don’t wanna chance it.:(
sooo
i went to school for twenty minutes, came home because my dad was really pissed about the school still being cold and smelling a bit like propane.
i finished frosting and decorating my dad’s cake and then started to clean the mountain of dishes that have accumulated in the kitchen and my stomach starts to hurt. so it progressively get’s worse and when i’m about 2/3 done with the...
dom and kevinn
*yodel like banchee weird ass kevin call noise*
*kevin opens the door of papas truck and jumps out while it’s moving*
*he proceeds to come save us*
<333333 =(
school.
katipaterson:
clarebabs:
apains:
katipaterson:
apains:
katipaterson:
left early due to the fact its illegal for us to be there in the under 65 degree wheater.
one thing will never fail, patty loves doing things that push the school’s buttons.
so she picked me up and made a point to tell mr krebs i texted her about the coldness.
fuck yes. i just got home. you should have seen my...
school.
apains:
katipaterson:
apains:
katipaterson:
left early due to the fact its illegal for us to be there in the under 65 degree wheater.
one thing will never fail, patty loves doing things that push the school’s buttons.
so she picked me up and made a point to tell mr krebs i texted her about the coldness.
fuck yes. i just got home. you should have seen my mom, she was so pissed and like...
so today i
came home, made some asparaguss, talked to amb for a while, went online and such, then i went to the gym with becky. we actually ended up going to the mall first because she needed pants for golf, but she bought me a shirt and then we did end up going to the gym but only for a little over an hour. i think we might be friends sometime. that would be nice.
then on the way home we were behind my mom...
clare!
katipaterson:
thank you for the egg rat.
i love it =D
and tomorrow im going with my grandma for my prom dress fitting and since last time we so badly wanted you to be there, i thought maybe you’d like to come? well let me know tonight or tomorrow =]
i would like to come but it depends what time and everything cause i’m going to the gym tomorrow and i have to go get ingredients to make...
i just found out
some things i’d rather not know, but you can’t undo things once you know them as much as you wish you could. i was looking for my past but i found someone elses and it was full of unpleasant surprises.
my easter
was actually pretty nice :). my mom and i went to my great aunt naomi’s house in queens and had a really good dinner with her, my cousins lisa and nina, lisa’s partner sylvia (? or some russian s name), nina’s husband danny, my grandma, my aunt and augie (i was soooo grateful when he showed up because as much as i love my family i needed someone under 50 to roll my eyes at and...
HAPPY EASTER.
katipaterson:
im in an extremely grumpy mood.
i have a question. not that any of you will be able to answer it.
why am i the only busser that has to work easter weekend.
ben worked friday.
i worked from 3-9 yesterday.
i had to sneak out to leave.
and today i work from 12-9.
TELL ME WHY BEN DIDNT WORK WITH ME LAST NIGHT?
and im the only one working today no switch off?
fuck the carriage...
holidays only help
to make me miss being a kid.
anywayss, i’m going to dye some easter eggs, go to the city for a while, then come home and go to the gym with becky at like nine when she gets home from work? idk about the last bit though because i’m still really fucking sore from the last three days. blahh, like cheyanne said feel free to text me alllll day because i’ll need some entertainment...
Spring Break So Far;
infinitybegins:
+Ray painting the Yellow Submarine, watching across the universe, sneaking onto my roof with him, & getting breakfeast. (New friends who rock are awesome)
+Thrifting with Halie, Lauren, & Adrianne at Velveteen Habit, & Salvation Army. Note, “Why is this chocolate everywhere?” & “Deanoclause langerie” & plus, cute prom date excitement for a special girl ;...
nothing feels right. physically or emotionally. it hurts when i eat but if i don’t eat i get too hungry. my body is sore. my eyes hurt. my mind is whirring. my chest is tight and my breath is constantly evading me.
i really really really need
my best friend, so of course she’s unavailable like everyone else.
i hate you and your stupid skanky chicken hair and your nasty ill fitting jeans and your complete fucking ignorance. do not banter with me like you fuckinng know him you worthless slut. you and your daughter both fucking suck.
i cannot handle my moods
and if i can’t handle them myself, how can i expect anyone else to deal with me? blerghh. i can go from crying shaking angry to happy in about a half hour and it’s ridiculous.
i hate having this rollercoaster of emotions and not knowing how to deal with it. i am up and i am down and none of it even makes sense anymore. even if nothing sets me off i still go absolutely fucking crazy....
i am in such a bad bad mood
why does stupid shit like this always happen? i did want to go to the pallisades with domi, but of course, i was sleeping. i was sleeping because i was so tired from the gym. i was tired from the gym because i’m tired of being huge, unlike all my friends who are tiny and blessed with the fastest metabolisms and can eat anything they want, while even if i work out and diet it’s still...